Carole’s Story
I’m a 55 year old married housewife without children. I grew up being mostly in shape having swam competitively for eleven years, but something happened the summer day I turned 17 — I became ineligible to remain on our city swim team and like that, I was out, unable to compete in any further events. My coach was disappointed but all teen swimmers departures were expected. I however, was devastated. There was no adult swim program in town. I had put all my eggs in the swimming basket and wasn’t active in any other sport or activity. Where would I go? What could I do?
As the oldest of five children, the majority of daily meal preparations fell on me. I managed to keep my weight down through my first year of community college (which also didn’t have a swim program), but I struggled. I had always cooked for my family, a family of seven and had never learned portion sizes. To be honest, portion size information wasn’t on the tip of everyone’s tongue in the ’70′s. Growing up swimming, I never worried about eating too much because I swam the extra calories off.
Then I married a thin man whose claim to fame was that he had a hollow leg. Surely you’ve heard of these kinds of people. He regularly ate people under the table, often clearing out All-You-Can-Eat buffets and winning ten pound, You-Eat-It, We-Buy-It pizzas, seemingly without gaining an ounce. Thinking I could keep up with him, and I always did, it soon became apparent I was what’s called an “Apple Shape.” My arms and legs remained somewhat slim while my middle grew thick and round. My grandparents reminded me often I would grow to look like them, both barrel-chested and thick, as my mother did, and they insisted I fatten up my new husband on daily, heavy meals of meat and potatoes in the traditional German manner they were raised in.
In 1980 I divorced and I’ll never forget the last thing my ex-husband said to me. “You’ve gotten fat like your mother.” It was cold and harsh but it was true. Throughout our short-lived marriage, I had still cooked as though for seven, even though there were only the two of us in the household. I still hadn’t a clue what “portion size” referred to and he never complained about the platters of food crowding our small dinette table. My mother was obese by this time, having given up years before of taking care of herself health-wise. Within six years, she would die of a massive stroke brought on by obesity, early diabetes, gout, and unchecked high blood pressure. She was only 47 years old.
Ten years later, I remarried. My husband is ten years my junior. And I’m a little ashamed to admit that my thinking at the time was that I hoped by marrying a younger man, that man would outlive me. My own father had died at age 43 after a lengthy and rare spinal condition. Little did I realize, age had little to do with how long we’d actually last if we were both out of shape.
Having always felt like an active person didn’t necessarily make me an active person. I was very good at convincing myself I was healthy. But deep down inside, I knew it was all a big lie. I was out of shape, I was fat, and I was getting wider each week that went by. Something had to change but like happens to a lot of overweight, out of shape people, a lot of trial and error, misinformation and misdirection had to occur first. And I fell into the same boat a lot of women do — that being they tend to take care of loved ones before they take care of themselves.
This is my journey to being fit and happy.
